Im Freaking my boyfriend out! what should i do?

I am totally and completely in love with my boyfriend we plan on getting married. We are very open and honest with each other and some personal issues i have are freaking him out. I have been sexually abused at a young age and tho we have never actually talked about it i know my mom has been too and i think it was by her father. I have aways had an issue with trusting men and feeling weak and powerless as a women .. not liking the role women play in society and i have always been jealous that im not a male. I always say things like i rather be a guy. I am very much a girl tho is every way and i don't actually in reality want to be a man or in a mans body i just want to be treated like a guy ... if that makes any sense. I at one point questioned my sexuality because i was so asexual i thought that maybe i was gay ... but i think its just because i am so scare and angry with guys that i don't want to be with them and i think im also screwed up sexually and i just have trust issues. although i have been with a few guys in the past i have never actually wanted to have sex with anyone until my boyfriend i just did because it was expected of me and i got into situations that i couldn't back out of. i always felt sick and hated it so much i never enjoyed it it didn't feel good i just all around hated it . even at first with my boyfriend i didn't really enjoy it i was always so uncomfortable and my head wasn't there i was in panicky mode and thinking of a1000 things at once. Now that i feel comfortable with him and safe the sex is amazing i love it and it brings us closer together. He is freaking out because he knows that i have been attracted to women in the past ... not really sexually like i said im not that sexual but i dont know what it was. also i have always thought there was somthing wrong with me because i didnt like sex so for a while i was trying to fix that problem and one of my friends suggested trying to watch some porn and learn how to please myself to become more comfortable with the idea of sex ... most of it is guys being so ruff with women and disrespectfull that i hated it and found lesbian porn more appealing. my boyfriend found lesbian porn on my computer.I am also an artist and draw naked girls all the time. he thinks im bisexual and its freaking him out a little the truth is that i dont even know if i am or not i have been attracted to women i could actually have sex with a women i suppose but its not somthing i feel the need to do . i really only want to have sex with him for the rest of my life he knows i will never cheat on him and he loves me alot hes just confused as am i. I dont think im bisexual i just think i have issues from past abuse i have no problem not that i would have a problem with being bisexual ... i dont think it matters i have already found the person i want to stay with ... what do i do about this?