I am bipolar i need opinions i dont have insurence or money to go to the doctors?

I have a condition that is more serious than ive been leading it to be to my family so they don't worry about me. but the father of my children is starting to think im nuts and he cant stand my mood swings anymore. i have been trying to get medical insurance from the state but the are giving me a ruff ride because i just moved from a different state and if you suffer from the condition you know the symptoms and how hard it is to keep control when people put you under stress or in an uncomfortable situation. now im a young mother of two and i watch my cousins child for a very small income while she works. i need to be able to control my mania attacks!! i cant be freaking out in front of children! for the most part i have physical control of myself sometimes i will brake something but not very often but i say the most hurtful things to the ones i love but releasing words keeps physical damage out of the equation or at least the thought. besides the mania im a very caring easy to get along with happy person but the smallest things can throw me into a mania im done suffering this crap this illness is messing up my life i will lose everyone if i can not over come the symptoms from my mania bipolar chemical imbalance!! what can i do until i can afford to see a doctor????? some one plaese help me!!