I'm not Gay, But In Love with My best friend?

Okay, if you take the time to read this thank you so much! :) But PLEASE i need some answers! and i think this is the place. Okay it all started when we met when we were in the 11th grade. He was the first GUY friend that BEFRIENDED me. and it thought he was so cool. We went to the fair and ever since that night i love him so much! i mean were like brothers! but sometimes i feel different. I mean i think i fell in love with him. I mean when he calls my heart drops and stuff. But im not gay. I mean hes so country and so manly. im kinda non ruff and all that. lol. But it was bothering me so bad that one day i told him that i was in love with him and i thought i was gonna lose him but i had to because it was bothering me horribly. He took it well. He is SO NOT gay. But we do have a secret behind the curtains thing going on. I mean we had sex in october for the first time. And i give him oral sex. He makes me so happy. but hes my best friend in my eyes but sometimes, more. I mean he says were just experiencing. because hes so ruff and manly. But my gosh when he hugs me it sends chills up my back. :) PLEASE WHAT IS YOUR THINKING ON THIS??? thank you have a good weekend!! dont drink too much! lol